Donna Martin procreates

Check out the cover for Tori's new book. Beautious.

There's something about this woman, I just cannot look away. It's like a train wreck- a needy, money-whoring train wreck.

But, the title. Is mommywood a pet name for daddy's hard on? Is it a laudatori tale of Dean's thing?

Sleepy time stories: co-sleeping

There are many benefits to co-sleeping. The main one: everyone's happy. The baby is warm, cozy and safe. You can nurse very easily during the night, which means you sleep better too. 

We did the co-sleepign thing for a while. Then we tried having the critter sleep in his crib, in his room. Which worked out fine, except we missed him. 

Meredith Small explains that "the usually recommended solitary sleep is exactly the opposite of what is the naturally evolved sleep situation for babies, and tus not what the baby really needs." This seems to intuitively make sense.

In The Aware Baby  Aletha Solter share that her son slept on a mattress next to her until  "he was three-and-a-half years old, [when] his grandmother came to live with us, and he was quite happy to move into a room with her." Which give way to the only hiccuo in this otherwise lovely sleeping arrangement: when do you encourage the kid to sleep on his own? And is it awkward when he brings a girl home? Does dating make the fmaily bed uncomfortable?

The only book you need to read

I am not a punk. I like Disney movies. I dress my son in gender coding blue. And for a while I hoped that Diaper Genies were "someone you hire to change your kid's diaper". Needless to say, Jessica Mills and I are not exactly two peas in a pod. We probably disagree on most lifestyle choices. Except the ones about raising kids.

My Mother Wears Combat Boots: a Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us is the best parenting book out of the very many I have read. It is so wonderful because it encompasses everything I look for in these things: an inside look into her own parenting fiascos AND actual information. This book is well researched. There is information on fetal development, child psychology, birthing options, education and bigger political planet saving things as well.

Jessica's political activist punk mama stories are interesting, funny and relatable. I am not one to be scraping off a cloth diaper, but I agree that "having a parenting relationship with a brand-new person is unique and truly freakin' sweet, fun and amazing." This book was written for "the rest of us", which might just be all of us. Don't we all want children that are free and interested in the world? We try to raise them respectfully, lovingly and with patience. And we try real hard to understand and accept when they show their own personal colors, even if it is pink.

It's no sippy cup

Stefanie Wilder-Taylor's book on life with a toddler is fun but not hilarious. Her sippy cup book was fresh and new, and now the same view is older, less humorous - probably because we're expecting it. Naptime might be a more fun read for those new to Stefanie's sense of humor and lovingly unapologetic "decidedly lazier parenting style".

We still have things in common:

"It just seems like so many toys that are attractive to youngsters have a lot of little parts. I don't know what you can possibly do about it, short of putting orange cones all over the place to indicate a danger zone, or... vaccuming. But that seems a bit extreme."

I agree! Really, I do - just come to over my house and see for yourself. Or ask my son, who picks up lint with his refined little fingers. I choose to ignore the diss on my housekeeping prowess and be proud of his excellent fine motility.

All in all the book is an acceptable read but lacking enough new material or insight to make it seem like a rehash of the first book. If you're a die hard fan it's worth a read, but I definitelly recomend the first one to anyone unfamiliar with her work.

The book ends with Stafanie annoucing that she is having twin girls. Her blog takes up from there.

Sleepy time stories: Contented little babies

Gina Ford is Britain's baby guru. Her cornerstone book, The New Contented Little Baby Book: the Secret to Calm and Confident Parenting, holds the secret: the CLB routines. The book goes into careful detail about routines appropriate for each stage of the baby's life. Everything is stipulated in the routine: the baby's sleeping, eating, bath, playtime and cuddle time. Don't worry, your sleeping, eating, bath, playtime and cuddle time is scheduled in as well.

Above all, stick to the routine - unless you have to pee outside of the stipulated potty break, in which case all hell will break lose.

It's 7 am, time for baby's first feeding of the day. Critter's asleep? Wake that darn baby!

Seriously.

His nap time slot has come and gone and still no sleeping? Well, you better keep him awake now until the next appropriate sleeping time.


If baby falls asleep while nursing before bedtime, wake him so he goes awake to his crib. "When cuddling him during the wind-down time, do not talk and avoid eye contact" (because he will feel safe in your love and warmth) "as it can overstimulate him and result in him becoming overtired and not settling". And, of course, baby needs to learn to fall asleep by himself in his crib, so there is a "crying-down" period.

The thing is, I'm sure this works. How could it not? The baby's needs are all met before they even arise. If not, just wait until the next carefully selected time interval.

Even if I didn't cringe at her suggestions, most days I'm organized enough to shower and change into clothes that somewhat match by noon, so I don't think the CLB routines would work with us. The CLB routines are "created to meet the natural sleep and feeding needs " of babies. Couldn't I just take cues straight from my baby? I'm sure he's aware of a baby's natural needs.

Guilty pleasure read

Stefanie Wilder-Taylor used to write for Whose Line is it Anyway; then she had a kid and wrote Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay.

As far as parenting books go, this isn't one of the most informational. OK, it has no useful information. As a parent I disagree with most of the things she feels passionately about: I like my Bugaboo, I don't think nursing "hurts like a rhesus monkey biting your nipples" and I am looking forward to throwing my son a rocking first birthday party.

The book talks about motherhood with honesty and humor. Sadly, my husband has also had to come up with an answer to "Does it bother you that I haven't waxed in eighteen months?"

To Stefanie's credit, though, I didn't feel like she was admonishing or shaming me for how I raise my child, which automatically awards her the "Most Respectful Baby Book" award. Sippy Cups, with its simple and neat narrative style, is funny and embarrasingly relatable.

Hangover notes, ie, emotion coaching

My wild night yesterday was actually a lecture on emotion coaching for parents. Every time the professor addressed "parents" I wanted to raise my hand "me, me, me, I have a baby, I'm a parent!". The novelty has not yet worn off.

The lecturer began by delineating what "emotion" refers to. An emotion is basically something we feel as a product of our interpretation of reality. Emotions inform us of the world around us, they help us evaluate and understand it, and they prepare us for acting in the world.

As a parent, it is our role to help children learn how to understand, interpret and cope with their emotions. This is called emotion coaching in John Gottman's Raising and Emotional Intilligent Child. Gottman's book is a pleasurable and informative read. It has anecdotal examples that help clarify his outline for helping children develop their emotional individuality.

The four steps of emotion coaching are:
1. Become aware of the emotion.
2. Recognize the emotion, name it and recognize its intensity.
3. Investigate the origin of the emotion, why it's there, what caused it.
4. Brainstorm possible solutions/plans of action . Select best one.

The lecturer did a lovely job of explaining the parent's role in helping children through these stages. Gottman's book does a remarkable job as well.

Diary of an unedited mum

Jools Oliver's book, Minus Nine to One: Diary of an Honest Mum, leaves a lot to be desired. Unless you love the Olivers, exclamation points and emails.

The book narrates Jools and Jamie's journey from trying to conceive their first child, getting pregnant with their second daughter and throughout the older kid's first year.

Jools could have used a more opinionated editor. The book reads like a (long) email. She has a fondness for exclamation points! When she can't conjure up the words to describe a situation she tries to resolve it by adding emphasis. This surely gets her point across better than words would!

As with everything Jamie Oliver, the book includes beautiful photographs, only here it's less about the food and more about their family. Although... there is a photo that bothered me. It is meant to be of Jools and Jamie having dinner on the night they inadvertedly conceived their second child. Why would they invite a photographer to dinner the night they had sex for the first time postpartum? Ours was a lot more casual, intimate and careful.

This book does not contain any useful information for pregnant moms looking to benefit from someone else's experience; nor is it a particularly enjoyable read. Then why did I read it start to finish in two days? I actually am obsessed with everything Jamie Oliver, and I am a sucker for nice pictures, especially when they offer an inside look into someone's family life. So while this book is not particularly informational or well written, it is sure to please the voyeur in all of us.

Infant Massage

When Lucas was a month old we started going to an Infant Massage class. If anything, it was a treat to have something scheduled twice a week, to see other moms and babies, and to have a trained coach for our many new mom questions.

Seriously, though, we both loved the class. Lucas really got into it. To this day, he thinks getting his legs massaged is one of the funniest things that could happen.

Our massage teacher is of the Vimala McClure school. Besides teaching us the massage technique, she taught us about the philosophy behind it, which, in a nutshell, centers on respecting your baby and learning how to listen to him.

Vimala McClure's book explains the massage technique, complete with illustrations, and gently encourages the reader to build trusting and loving relationship with his baby. Of all the parenting books, it is one of the most respectful, ie, it details a parenting philosophy without threatening dissenters with unhappy children, problematic childhoods, maladjustment, family discord, unearthly juvenile horrors and dreadful adulthood- and, oh, yes, guilt.

At first, I gave Lucas a massage daily. Now, between the cold weather and Lucas twisting and crawling it happens less frequently. I feel guilty because it really is so good for him; and that because of my laziness we are both missing out. And then I give him a massage, and although it is not as complete as they were when he was littler and less mobile, I am always surprised and so happy to see how much he enjoys it. He still laughs when I massage his legs; he looks up at me and smiles, relaxed, enjoying.